Friday, April 29, 2016

When the Going Gets Tough

It's not new news to my little blog world that things have been unusually quiet around these parts in the last month or two. My posting schedule has been virtually nonexistent and my postings have been so random and erratic that I have that overwhelming, icky feeling when even signing on to my account to start a post because I know it's just been too long.

I had the dream of creating this little outlet years ago. I ignored it, pushed it off, ignored it some more until in typical Liz-fashion, I just bit the bullet and dove in deep and just did it. I always envisioned this giving me such peace and happiness- connecting with the world over subjects that are very much my life and talking about the surface level things that I love- eyeliner, dry shampoo, the sweater that every woman in the world should own.. and also sharing the not so easy parts of my life: PCOS, my lifelong weight loss struggle, food addiction and emotional eating, etc. The more I share, the more I'm able to connect with all of you, and the better I feel. The more grounded I feel.

Starting this blog in October was one of the best decisions of my life and I've always taken this virtual space of mine very seriously in only wanting to put out content that I feel is my absolute best. Content that gets to the heart of what I'm going through in an effort to connect with all of you. Content that I feel is worthwhile and informative. In the beginning. I posted regularly, I had creative ideas for blog posts, I had infinite ideas for recipes and spent hours a day dreaming up my plans for Bluebonnets & Bacon, and with that, this space became everything I ever wished it to be and more. 

And then I got a new job at the college where I work at the beginning of March! My little part-time gig turned into a full time position where I am now adult-ing every day and if you need me, I'm busy being lost in a sea of a growing to do list between home and work and exhausted at the end of the day from trying to balance it all. Trying to do it all. Trying to know it all. Trying to be it all. It's been two months since the promotion and while I absolutely love it and am so grateful that all of my hard work paid off and undoubtedly led me to this position, it has been a challenge, to say the least, in finding some balance in this new phase of my life. But, like most things, every day gets a little easier, the stress of the newness of my job has died down a little and I just feel so grateful to serve my students in a way that I always felt called to. For better or for worse, I really, really love higher education.

A little peek at the new digs! Boy, do I have plans for this little space to make it even more "my own".. but for now, I'm love love loving my new office and having a place to call my own and at the end of the day, hang my degrees. #becauseoutofstatetuition 

In the meantime, the last two months or so this little blog space has been pushed aside to create more brain space for the other growing compartments of my life and I can't say enough how much I HATE that. However, when the going gets tough, I usually eat. Carbs in particular, but eat nonetheless. And I'm so proud to say that I've been so busy that eating hasn't been on the forefront of my mind and that has been so weird for me.  Even typing that feels weird. I am a eater out of stress. Out of emotion. Out of boredom. Out of rewarding myself. Out of any excuse. Don't get me wrong, I have treated myself with a glass of wine at the end of the weekend at a winery and enjoyed a little miniature size dessert over Easter.. But it's just different. 

I felt a bit like a fish out of water the first month or so as I adjusted to my new normal and am so thankful for the patience of my friends and family, and especially my husband, who has been my constant encouragement and supporter, and dinner chef, and sweet lunch note writer, and teammate.. But to all of you, just know that I'm still here. Still low-carbing, still learning my body, still continuing my journey- even when it seems at a snail's pace. (Updates on that soon!)

So what happens when the going gets tough? The tough take care of themselves. The tough ask for help. The tough lean on their past experiences of overcoming to prove to themselves that they will be okay. That they can continue to persevere. That they can do anything. The tough take some time out to find that balance before moving forward. And most importantly, they never give up on their dreams. For me, self care is everything. If I'm stressed in one area of my life- I can't help but have that chaos trickle into every compartment of my brain until I'm 100% focused on just the task at hand while the rest of my life is hanging by a thread. Awesome way to go through life, huh? Ha. But it takes time. And like clockwork, I come back to the surface for air realizing all that I've missed out on and armed with a plan to get 'er done. So consider me coming back up for air finally!

Taking care of myself is writing. Sharing. Connecting. Regrouping. Savoring. Reflecting. And doing things that I love, which blogging falls naturally into. And sometimes I forget the importance of stepping away and doing the things that make me happy and give me so much joy-- so that I can go out into the world and be a happier, funnier member of society. So, y'all, take care of yourselves! When the going gets tough, take it from me and just breathe. Know that you can handle whatever life is throwing at you, and be confident in doing the best you can with what you have.. and everything else will fall into place in time. This is me taking my own advice. 

So while it's been forever since we've chatted, thank you for being patient. For still following and cheering me on via social media. For allowing me into your little world. And for giving me that time to re-charge so that I can come back up for air and give y'all my best- even if parts of my life are messy, my journey rocky or slow. In every sense of the phrase, I'm learning as I go. Just THANK YOU. I'm working on new content, new recipes and exciting posts for the future- so just continue to be patient with me as I learn my new posting schedule and this new balance in my life. 

In other news, after finally going through my closet and sorting through all of the clothes that no longer fit (helllooooo, new wardrobe!) I came across my beloved red striped shirt. I think I'll keep this gem forever because it's one of the only artifacts I have left from the beginning of my journey that also was accompanied by a real, live full body shot. #whatthewhat And what a difference 14 months makes! 2016 has started with a bang and I have big plans in motion to make this year the best year yet. So let's just do this, y'all!

Happy Friday, friends! I've missed you!

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